Media Myths: An invitation for Latter-day Saints to understand changes within the Boy Scouts of America

This month I had two distinct experiences.

While introducing myself to an international stranger, I mentioned that I lived in Utah, USA.

“Oh, that’s the place where people have lots of wives!” he remarked.

I cringed.

A few days later, a good friend showed up at my door. With tear-filled eyes he said, “I’m so sorry that Scouting is ending.”

I cringed again.

While both of these assumptions—that polygamy is legal in Utah, and that Scouting is ending—are false, they are mingled with truth. Yes, polygamy was prevalent in Utah over 150 years ago. And, the relationship between Scouting and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is ending this year. However, the full and entire truth about both of these situations is often misunderstood.

As a lifetime member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and as a longtime volunteer for the Boy Scouts of America, I have firsthand experience with painful partial truths. I often refer to these misunderstandings as “media myths.”

People are prone to read a headline and immediately think they comprehend a story. During the past century, both the Church and the BSA have been victims to unfortunate media myths and misconceptions.

Paradoxically, we are currently in a situation—the Church ending its Scouting partnership—with multiple misconceptions about the BSA among Church members.

I wish to directly address the confusion that some of my Latter-day Saint friends have regarding the Boy Scouts of America.

Unfortunately, many Latter-day Saints feel the BSA has undergone “major” foundational changes during the past decade. This assumption is false. Instead, closer observation reveals that the BSA is simply making structural modifications. And, the Church is making—and has already made—similar adjustments!

My goal is to clarify changes the BSA has recently made, and share with Church members why I personally agree with these changes, and why I don’t feel they are causing the end of the LDS-BSA relationship.

Since May 8, 2018 when the Church announced the end of their Scouting partnership, I’ve observed seven common misconceptions about the relationship between the two organizations. I will refer to these misconceptions as “myths,” and have numbered them one through seven, in no particular order.

As all-to-common victims of media madness ourselves, I invite members of the Church to seek the full truth about the Boy Scouts of America.

Please note that what I share is based on my personal opinions. These views are mine and don’t officially represent the Church or the BSA.

Now sit back, smile, and read on.

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Myth #1: The Church is leaving Scouting because the Church no longer supports the BSA.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland clarified this myth when he spoke at the BSA National Annual Meeting in May 2018.

“Right now in the Church there are 4.5 million young people. We have a very large responsibility to a very large Church and it’s getting larger. That’s the arena and the growth that we’re facing. We are obligated for all the right reasons to intentionally reach them around the world.”

“Please know how grateful we are to the BSA. We are friends now and we will be friends forever. In 18 months when our charters are finished, we hope that many LDS youth who wish to do so will still choose to be in Scouting. It is just the charter part that we are separating from. We’re going to stay in close contact. And we are locked arm in arm and hand in hand for the next 18 months. Please keep your shoulder to the wheel. Let me stress again, this isn’t a divorce. It’s growth. We’re not in any way disavowing any of those virtues of Scouting.”

I personally reported on this event and wrote this article, and Elder Holland himself approved the article before it was published on the Latter-day Saint Scouting website. (Read the full article here.)

I’ve often heard Church members whisper that there is “more” to the ending partnership, but I choose to believe an apostle’s explanation. Yes, the Church does need a worldwide youth program. And yes, “We will be friends forever.”

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Myth #2: The Church is leaving Scouting because of girls.

The truth is that the Boy Scouts of America first welcomed girls into many of their programs starting in the 1970s. These coed programs included Exploring, Venturing, Learning for Life, Sea Scouts, and others.

While the Cub Scout and Boy Scout divisions remained male-only programs, they opened their doors to females in 2018 and 2019, respectively. However, girls can still only participate in separate dens and separate troops.

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As a former youth Explorer who loved the outdoor adventure provided by the BSA, I look forward to enrolling my own girls in the high quality Cub Scout and Scouts BSA programs.

Interestingly enough, the Church is also making changes to equalize young men and young women activity programs. For example, the new youth program, Children and Youth, provides a non-gender based outline for personal growth. Boys and girls, young men and young women, are now on an equal plane. In fact, in the announcement during the recent general conference, it was noted that “…ward budgets for youth activities will be divided equitably between the young men and young women according to the number of youth in each organization.”

And, in an interesting twist, while the BSA maintains separate girl and boy dens and troops, the Church often combines males and females in more activities than the BSA, making the Church slightly more lenient in this matter. I have seen Activity Day boys and girls meet together under coed circumstances that would actually violate BSA policy.

Additionally, the Church has made recent changes in temple and baptismal ordinances to more readily involve females and further clarify the value and position of women in the priesthood. These changes in the Church are enlightening!

We should feel the same about parallel changes to equalize opportunities for females in Scouting. It’s exciting that the BSA and the Church are both making similar structural adjustments.

No, girls in Scouting really isn’t new news. Instead, it’s thrilling!

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Myth #3: The Church is leaving Scouting because of transgender youth and adults.

Frankly, this is old news as well. And again, changes the BSA has made to welcome all youth and adults mirror changes in the Church.

A few Church examples of recent inclusiveness include greater emphasis on inviting all to come unto Christ, specific websites to help transgender individuals feel welcome in Latter-day Saint congregations, the Tabernacle Choir performing with the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus (full story here), and even recent Church policy changes that allow baptisms for children of same-sex couples.

Additionally, consider that Scouts Canada changed their youth and adult leader policies way back in the 1990s, yet the Church kept a partnership with them for over 20 more years. It stands to reason, then, that membership policy changes are not the reason for the end of the LDS-BSA partnership.

These membership adjustments are truly non-issues in both the Church and the BSA, especially in our current social climate.

It is extremely notable, however, that the BSA has not changed their century-old Scout Oath and Scout Law; nor has the Church changed the Ten Commandments, the Articles of Faith, The Living Christ or the Proclamation on the Family. While maintaining their historical and principled foundations, both organizations have opened their arms to all who wish to join and abide by their precepts.

This steadfastness is remarkable and commendable.

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Myth #4: The BSA is going bankrupt.

Members of the Church should fully understand how the media often misconstrues financial facts. I remember a major article splashed across the cover of Time Magazine titled, Mormon, Inc. The article grossly overstated the financial status and goals of the Church. It was misleading and embarrassing.

Likewise, the media has caught wind of financial stress within the BSA, and is having a heyday with them.

In a nutshell, recent changes in state litigation laws now allow unlimited suing ability for abuse victims, literally putting non-profit organizations out of business—a dangerous situation. Instead of focusing on what they do best, the BSA is drowning in litigation costs. This is an unfortunate outcome of our current sue-happy society.

(Read an official statement on the situation by Chief Scout Executive Mike Surbaugh here.)

Since the 1920s, the BSA has kept careful track of child pedophiles and abusers, removing such individuals from their programs. Even a century ago, before records of such people were required, the Boy Scouts of America went above and beyond to track offenders and deny them access to our youth. Strangely enough, these records—once used to protect youth—are now used by greedy litigators to hurt the Boy Scouts of America.

The BSA hasn’t made an official decision yet, but as a non-profit institution they can “restructure” and set aside money specifically for litigation costs and abuse victims, while maintaining funds necessary to run their organization and program. Such an action would require the vote of the BSA National Executive Board. Time will tell what these wise men and women choose to do in this precarious situation.

I am personally afraid for organizations like the Boy Scouts of America—led by honorable people, striving to uphold American values—who are being put out of business by lack of litigation boundaries. Situations such as this should make us fear for our society.

In my opinion, the BSA is not the enemy. Instead, a society without youth who are trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind and all the rest is the true nightmare.

Again, the Boy Scouts of America is not going bankrupt. They are considering a “restructure” to save non-profit funds for what the BSA does best—instill character, citizenship, leadership, and fitness in America’s youth.

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Myth #5: The Boy Scouts of America changed its name.

Sigh. The Boy Scouts of America did not change its name. It simply changed the name of one of its many programs. Boy Scouts are now Scouts, BSA. This change is a reflection of the fact that girls can now join girl troops—all (let me be clear) under the umbrella of the Boy Scouts of America.

And, speaking of name changes, Latter-day Saints should be especially empathetic to official names. We were recently asked by our prophet to stop using the terms “Mormon” and “LDS” and focus on our full name: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Have we changed our name?

No.

And neither has the Boy Scouts of America.

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Myth #6: Scout leaders endanger our youth.

This is another classic example of media madness. Small truths are being twisted to tell partial truths and hurt good programs.

My kids participate in several different extra curricular activities, and none of them use a Youth Protection program like the BSA. In my opinion (and the statistics support me) kids are safer in Scouting programs than anywhere else.

I prefer sending my children to leaders who have been trained in multiple facets of safety as well as specific youth protection guidelines. I like having two leaders present at each Scouting activity. I choose an organization with leaders who have skill-specific training for outdoor adventure and safety.

The Church is not immune to youth protection issues either. Consider the recent allegations regarding the BYU Honor Code. I actually worked in the Honor Code Office as a student secretary when I was a college Junior. The people in that office were some of the kindest, most honorable individuals I’ve ever worked for. I often think about them during these media madness times, and wonder how they are coping as rumors swirl around their peaceful purposeful office.

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I feel the same about the Scout leaders I know. They are honorable upright citizens who support youth. Paradoxically, these good people are engaged in a battle against them. It’s strange that our society eagerly twists truth and makes good people the enemy.

I invite you to look past the media madness and get to know your local Scouting leaders. I believe you’ll be impressed, too.

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Myth #7 We can’t be involved in both the new Church youth program and Scouting

This is a question each family will decide for themselves.

I personally feel that Scouting will compliment, not compete with, the new Church initiative. I believe and am grateful that our youth can still be involved in Scouting while working on personal growth in their Church quorums and classes. Scouting is an effective way to inspire physical, intellectual, spiritual, and social development in youth. For us, Scouting perfectly compliments our quest to increase in “wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.”

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Scouting has been a bridge for our family to connect with many good people not of our faith who also believe in God, country and family. For us, Scouting is a ministry—an opportunity to meet and serve with incredible people in our community, nation, and world. And an opportunity to follow personal revelation, grow, and bless lives. We have felt an undeniable spirit when we gather with good people in the framework of Scouting. We are working arm in arm with other children of God to prepare for the Second Coming of the Savior. Isn’t this exactly what the Church is encouraging us to do? I think so.

So, now that we’ve discussed the myths, let’s talk about what the BSA IS doing…

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After 109 years, they are still delivering quality programs to youth throughout our nation. They are still providing outdoor adventure opportunities and character building activities under incredibly safe guidelines. They are still training leaders in specific safety and youth leadership. They are still founded on their original Oath of honor to God, country, and family.

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Scouting is still a robust personal development program that teaches First Aid, patriotism, environmental respect, swimming and lifesaving skills, navigational and camping skills, understanding animals and wildlife, financial and personal management, leadership, cooking skills and safe handling of foods, community involvement at the local, national and world levels; internet safety, emergency preparedness, safe water practices…

The list goes on and on!

The BSA has benefited generations of youth, and will continue to bless generations in the decades to come.

Personally, I’m extremely grateful for an organization that teaches character, citizenship, and leadership. I love when youth learn to be trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent.

I whole-heartedly applaud and support the Boy Scouts of America. Our family—both boys and girls—plans to be involved for generations to come.

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We will Still be Scouting in 2020, and I hope your family will be, too.

Pear Pie – Easy and Delicious!

Our neighbor gave us several buckets of green pears. What to do?

We discovered Pear Pie! It’s delicious and simple to make, especially with Pillsbury pre-made crusts! Enjoy pear pie for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It’s easy and fast!

The Journal Jar

Journaling! Where do we start? Where do we end? How much do we record about our lives? And our children’s lives???

Keeping record of special happenings can feel overwhelming, especially if you are also in charge of little people.

Thanks to my college professor, George Durrant, I learned a simple trick that has helped me not to feel TOO OVERWHELMED when I journal.

I’ve passed this tip on to my kids, AND I have a weekly incentive for them to write in their journals each Sunday. My secret? The Journal Jar. Here’s how it works:

Autumn Time – A Parent’s Pout

12052499_893156100731419_5381880284282719173_o.jpgNo! SUMMER CANNOT BE OVER YET! It absolutely may not end!!! I know I write this exact same column every single year, yet I have these exact same emotions every single year.  August turns into September and then into October long before I am ready to give up July.

“Wait!” I want to shout.  “This mom is just getting into the swing of things. I am finally accustomed to swimming and vacationing and reading without any schedule. I am finally adjusting to meals on the fly and sudden trips to the library. I am acclimated to long, hot, lovely days when flip-flops and shorts will suffice.”

And then, suddenly, those days are over, there is a cool nip in the air, and school has started. It just isn’t fair.

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I’m sorry. I cannot readjust my life that quickly. It is impossible to morph overnight from a summer-silly-fun mom to a September-school-strict mom who puts children to bed at 8 o’clock when the sun is still above the horizon and there is daylight to enjoy! I cannot—in my rightful mind—get little students up at 6am to catch the bus after weeks of summer sleeping in. I cannot suddenly tell my children to put a book down and start their homework. Or come in from the swing set to work on a math assignment. I cannot say goodbye to the marshmallow roasts and hikes in the sunshine and bike rides on the trail.

I cannot.

IMG_5780.jpgNo. Don’t make me admit that there is change in the air. That fall is inevitable. And whatever you do, absolutely, positively do NOT show me an orange-gold pumpkin. Not in the fields, not on the neighbor’s doorstep. Don’t you dare put up Halloween decorations in the stores. I don’t want leaf wreaths or yellowed stalks of grain. Don’t say the word “Jack-o-lantern” or show me a black cat or an apple pie. I only want summer. Pink and orange and green and brilliant summer. Fun, carefree, no-responsibility summer. That’s still me.

Just give me one more week without homework and bus schedules and supply lists. Give me a few more days without lunches to pack and schedules to keep. Let me buy some more time to eat picnics and run through sprinklers. We still have a thousand movies to watch and a million books to read on our summer “to-do” lists. Please…hold back time for this muddled mother.

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But then it happened. Despite my groanings and murmurings and pleadings, the school bus showed up on the first day of school. My children (bless their hearts) were actually happy to put on their new tennis shoes. They donned their fresh backpacks and—swinging their new lunchboxes—said goodbye to me as they left, without even looking over their shoulders. My heart crumbled. I watched them skip down the street and around the corner, and then I walked back into an almost empty house and cleaned up the dishes on my own. I did laundry on my own, and I read a book during the quiet afternoon. I even went outside to harvest some vegetables.

Before I noticed, it was the second week of school. And then the third, and then the fourth. Now, despite my best rantings, the inevitable fall has crept in around me. Geese are flying overhead, caramel scents and smells are everywhere. At first, I ignored it. It was easy to pretend that our pumpkins weren’t ripe and we didn’t need jackets quite yet. I was still in summer mourning.

Then the Saturday soccer games and school field trips started. And (it’s hard to admit) after a few golden days I was delighted with autumn leaves. I actually enjoyed the smell of new pencils and notebooks, and loved the reading homework the teacher sent home.

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This week the air was even cooler and as we ate dinner on the deck (squeezing that last bit of summer from the evening) I looked over and saw golden red in the trees. Halloween costumes became the dinner conversation chatter. “This year I’m going to be Cinderella.” “I’ve waited so long to finally fit the Superman costume.” “My friends and I already planned our trick-or-treating route.” I finally relented.

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“OK!” I called up to the beautiful harvest moon, just rising over the horizon. “I was still enjoying July and August. But I’ll give up. You can take summer and I’ll be happy with fall. I actually do love orange and red and yellow and brown. I’ll be content with lovely jacket Saturdays, with corn at the farmers’ market, and freshly-pressed grape juice and applesauce on my counter. I might eventually feel happy to pull the boots from the shelves and dig the winter coats out of the closet. Ultimately I may even want a good soup on the stove or a fire crackling on the hearth. Sooner than later I will crave crisp apple pies. You win, world. I suppose I really do like all of your changes.”

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Now the orange pumpkins are everywhere. Now the cornstalks are dried and decorating the farm fence. Now there is a sweet nip in the morning air, and we gather a little more closely for family prayer on chilly mornings. It’s time to stop my summer soliloquy. The lazy days of July and August have turned into golden September, and we are—despite my best hesitations—enjoying this season. Our summer sorrows have turned into autumn joys.

CURSIVE CANDY: Worth the Bribe!

CURSIVE handwriting is becoming a lost art in our society, and that makes me sad! I remember my elementary teachers’ careful instruction on writing in beautiful cursive. They taught me that writing well was a sign of maturity and skill.

Our older children attended a private school in Las Vegas, Nevada and cursive was required in their school work. However, our younger children now attend public schools in Utah. Cursive is barely introduced and rarely required.

So…I decided to take matters into my own hands, literally! During the summer I ask my kids to do one written sheet of cursive each day. Then, during the school year, I offer CANDY for CURSIVE!

If my kids show me their daily school planner and work written in cursive they get a small treat. Each day! This bribe is totally worth it to me. Most of my kids can now write and read cursive, and they are finding that writing cursive is faster than printing. Hooray!

Bribes are necessary sometimes in parenting, and I believe that cursive is one of those emergency situations! Try CANDY for CURSIVE!

School Days – A Mother’s Soliloquy

IMG_0508I’m sending seven children to school this year – from high school senior on down through pre-kindergartener.   And that doesn’t include my two off-to-college boys and one living-across-the-ocean missionary.

Shouldn’t I be in the Guinness Book of World Records or something?  After all, managing students is a feat worth recording.  That is, if I survive.  Let me replay how our school preparation has gone.

“Everyone wash out your lunchboxes,” I call during one of our final summer afternoons.  Soon, a display of boxes and bags are lined up on the counter, rinsed and still dripping a bit.  It’s exhausting just to consider the food prep each school morning will require, even though many of my little pupils pack their own meal.

“School clothes day,” I call on a different morning.  Then, one by one, I go through each child’s drawer with him or her.  “School shirt, play shirt, dirty shirt that it’s time to dispose of, shirt you don’t wear so we’re donating to charity, shirt that doesn’t fit you any more (put it in your brother’s drawer)…”  The school clothes project takes ALL DAY.

Our next effort is school supplies.  With seven children at home now (and six lists) we head to the store.  “I’ll go get my pencils!” calls one, and a few wander down one aisle while I stay with the rest to find notebooks, Kleenex, hand sanitizer, folders, lined paper, pencil sharpeners and oh, yes, 50 glue sticks! (I should just buy stock in Mr. Elmer’s company.)

Next we shop for school shoes.  Luckily, our two favorite footwear stores are just across from each other in the mall.  I take one group of children (the “wear-out-your-tennis-shoes-in-one-month” boys) into one store to invest in high-quality sneakers, while the dainty girls go across to the other store to find some cute (and not as durable) sandals.  Luckily coupons and memberships give us a pretty good discount on the 12 pairs of shoes we buy (although purchasing company stock could still be a viable option.)

Shirts, pants, shorts–and of course lots of socks and underwear–and we are finally finished with our school prep.  Now comes the waiting.

“I think the teacher lists are posted!” my 5th grade daughter comes running breathlessly into the house one morning.  The news spreads through the neighborhood like wildfire, and soon our elementary students are on their bikes, racing to the nearby school to check the library windows.  Yep, teacher lists are posted, and they return home eager to broadcast their findings.  “My best friend isn’t in my class!”  “I don’t know if I can spell my teacher’s name!”

My junior high and high school students are calm but anxious as they retrieve their class schedules online and then call their friends to compare notes.  “We have Calculus together,” reports my senior after chatting with his best friend.

Then, the week before school, we head out on one more lovely lazy camping trip. I want to savor every moment: the beautiful blue water, the nights under the stars, the milkshakes on the lawn, the hot dogs over the fire, the late-night movie. I don’t like giving up freedom for the rigors of education. But my children are more than excited to start the school year adventure.IMG_4856.jpg

IMG_4857.jpgA few more days and it is the “start-of-school eve.”  Before I go to bed I check my sleeping students:  little “clothes people” are laid out on all of the bedroom floors – new shirts, pants, socks, shoes and hair bows are prepped for the next morning.  Yes, even my senior laid out her clothes, and I snapped a picture while I wiped away tears. Backpacks are hanging expectantly in the laundry room, lunch bags are propped on the kitchen counter, sharp pencils and colored markers fill the school boxes.

I look out the window at the soccer nets, and the pool, and the meadow that will now be deserted and sigh at what will be lost.  No more sleeping in, or marshmallows on the campfire, or lazy bike rides past bedtime.  No more afternoon movies, or all-day read-a-thons, or swimsuit lounging.  They (whoever they are) never asked this mom about starting school in August.  I’m sure I would NOT have given my permission.

“The summer night is like a perfection of thought,” wrote Wallace Stevens.  Yet the sun is already setting earlier, and the summer frogs are slowly disappearing.  I suppose school starting is inevitable.

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And so it comes the next morning:  SEVEN excited students, SIX different grades, FIVE lunches to pack (two students eat school lunch), FOUR different schools (not counting the university), THREE different departure times, TWO boys off to college, and ONE sad mama in a quiet house.  I hug them in their crisp outfits and they walk out the door – lunch boxes swinging, new shoes skipping, waving to friends.

IMG_0523The bus pulls up, the bikes round the corner, and then our street is silent.  School has started again.

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Fair Fun – The perfect end to summer

Hey! The end of summer is just around the corner, and what better way to celebrate than with the County Fair?

Think, what have your kids made? At Scout camp? Art class? On long lazy afternoons with Legos? I’m positive you have some treasures tucked into corners of your house.

Submitting items for the fair is a SIMPLE way to finish off summer and…kids LOVE it!