August 5, 2020

My dear friend, mentor, and neighbor, Bettye Jane Hodgkins, passed away a few hours ago, at 4:30am Pacific Time, August 4th. Bettye was 99 years, 5 months and 4 days old.

I was here in Japan when I received the news a few hours later, at 4:30am my time, August 5th. Something woke me up and I know now it was Bettye, letting me know she was on the other side, through an email sent by her dear daughter, Christine.

When Bettye passed in America it was actually evening in Japan. There was a full moon and my husband, Mark (whom Bettye adored), suggested we go out and look at the sky from our balcony. It was cool outside, and we stood for a long time, gazing at the moon and then looking out at the ocean from our home in Okinawa. Little did we know at the time, but Bettye was slipping quietly to heaven.

It is impossible to measure the good or influence a person can have in 99+ years of living. I only know bits and pieces of her first 78 years of life. But her final 18 years were filled with meaning for me and my family.

Bettye had four incredible children, all whom I met. She was a devoted wife and mother. She was an artist, and always had a canvas set up in her kitchen, with paints and brush at the ready, a few finished pieces displayed on her fireplace mantel. She was also a writer, like me, which is partly why we became close friends 18 years ago.

My husband and I moved to Las Vegas, Nevada with three young children in 2002. A day later, our 4^th child was born, in our home, just four houses down from where Bettye had lived for over 60 years. Thomson Circle is a quiet place in the busy city. It’s an older neighborhood, with large mature trees and big yards full of grass—the perfect place to live with children.

Continue reading →

Our news is full of voices demanding equality and “justice for all.” With a deep love for my country, and with empathy for those who also declare injustices, I can’t help but wonder, ‘Which of all these parties is right?’

This morning during my personal study I came across the words of Elder James R. Rasband who spoke on the Doctrine of Christ during the April 2020 General Conference:

“One thought has come again and again—without the Book of Mormon and its clarity about the Doctrine of Christ and His atoning sacrifice, where would I turn for peace?”

Peace is what I long for right now. Peace from riotous voices. Peace from the demands to erase history. Peace from the clarion that we live in an oppressive nation. Peace from raging pandemics and contradicting solutions. Peace from oppressive dictators around the globe.

And at the same time I truly desire justice for all. In this tumultuous world, can I find both?

Justice through Christ

Elder J. Rasband explained that we feel true peace when we fully understand that “Christ’s merciful sacrifice fulfills all the demands of justice.” In other words, believing in Christ provides the assurance that all will eventually receive justice.

When seemingly finite efforts to ensure that “all men are created equal” fail, we can trust that justice will be served through Christ. This understanding brings peace to my soul.

President Boyd K. Packer taught, “restoring what you cannot restore, healing the wound you cannot heal, fixing that which you broke and you cannot fix is the very purpose of the atonement of Christ” (November 1995 Ensign). Yes, true justice comes through Christ.

But there’s more. This same Savior also provides mercy and equality. Continue reading →

I hate to express unpopular opinions, but for many reasons I am LOVING this quarantine. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan of deadly viruses or endless school closures, but some of the resulting outcomes of a worldwide pandemic have actually benefitted our family. The mandatory quarantine is one example.

During the mush and mix of motherhood—especially on days when I feel totally overwhelmed—I have often wished for a long VACATION: a few weeks (or months) where the world stops and we can actually catch up on life. Right? Get through the family photos, organize the cupboards, finish the books, watch the movies, take the walks and DO everything on our “someday” lists.

Well, my at-home dream vacation wish has come true!

Our calendars are EMPTY! Our kids are all HOME! My husband CAN’T go to a meeting or run an errand or leave on a business trip. The soccer games are gone. The dance practices are on hold. The flute lessons have been cancelled. There is NOTHING going on.

Frankly, this absence of appointments is HEAVEN! For a few blessed weeks (err….months) the world has stopped spinning.

And I love it. Continue reading →

I traveled on a plane this week and listened to a podcast I’d never tried before: Happy Mum, Happy Baby, by Giovanna Fletcher. The episode caught my eye because HRH Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, was the guest.

Like most of the world, I’ve watched Kate with interest during the past decade as she married Prince William and started motherhood. I felt for her when she appeared on the steps of the hospital holding a newborn–her make-up and hair flawless–and wearing heels(!) while smiling at the enamored masses. Poor Mama, I thought.

I was stunned when she arrived a few weeks later for royal duties and I couldn’t detect any baby fat anywhere! She looked amazing!

When she quickly became pregnant again and struggled with morning sickness, my heart went out to her. I hate those long days, weeks and months when nothing stays down and you become a limp mass on the couch or floor, holding onto hope that “this, too, shall pass.”

When her daughter, Charlotte, was born, I was also in the hospital (with my 10th baby) and felt a strange kinship to Kate. But, again, I was eternally grateful that I could lounge in my nightgown while she dressed and showed up for the crowds.

And when she had her 3rd child, Louis, my interest and respect grew yet again. She appeared a committed and happy mother.

Anyway, as my plane took off, I settled in with my headphones to hear what the Duchess had to say about motherhood. And, I was pleasantly–in fact, more than thrilled–at her replies.

Here are a few of my favorite take-aways from Kate’s comments:

*families are at the CENTER of our society

*it’s the SIMPLE things that create a happy childhood

*the world is a ‘real adventure for children

*the more loving people you have around, the better

*nature takes its course during birth

*midwives can play an ‘extraordinary’ role in birth

*I totally UNDERESTIMATED the impact our first baby would have on our lives.

*once a baby is born, it’s amazing and extraordinary to see pure joy on a husband’s face

*we have to try and remember the SIMPLE THINGS through the complications of life

*the STRENGTH OF FAMILY and SIMPLE ACTS OF KINDNESS unite us as a society

*How can you physically get three children out to the car at once? You can’t!

Kate also shared two aspects of childhood which make a tremendous difference:

1.) the quality of relationships

2.) the environments children spend time in, including a happy home and the power of spending time in the out-of-doors

And my favorite quote…

“Since being a mom I have found a new enjoyment out of life.”

Like I said, I LOVED her down-to-earth answers and the respect she emanated for parenting and motherhood. I felt like Duchess Kate truly valued her role as a mother and was doing her best to raise her children in a happy, loving home.

Here’s the link to the full podcast: http://aca.st/045608

I HIGHLY recommend listening!

I manage LOTS of lunches everyday… You probably do as well!

And like any meal, I get tired of food and redundancy. That’s why I try to keep lunch SIMPLE and HEALTHY. And, I streamline my efforts so that my kids pack their lunches in the morning. That’s one less thing for me to think about during the day.

Here is an overview of how I manage MEALS FOR THE MASSES…at lunchtime.

There are a MILLION ways to be a good mom… AND, there are a MILLION MEALS to fix!

Spending time in the kitchen is (unfortunately) one of my least favorite parts of motherhood. However, cooking is a necessity! And there are lots of people who depend upon my efforts everyday.

Welcome to my next three posts: MEALS FOR THE MASSES. I like to keep food simple and healthful, with minimal cleanup during the week–especially when I have kids (and a husband) coming and going at all hours.

Here are my THREE FAVORITE BREAKFASTS that make my kids happy while keeping my kitchen life stress-free.

What do you like to fix for breakfast???

Every family deals with sibling rivalry, right? Arguments, bickering, disagreements… Irritation is common among brothers and sisters. After all, living in a house with other human beings isn’t always easy!

I’m not a child expert, just a mother of 10 children. But I’m happy to share what works in our home when arguments pop up. Here are a few ideas I use to limit contention among my kids.

(Thanks to my friend, Shellie, for requesting this two-minute tip.)

Enjoy!